in hiatus

I turned 33 yesterday. I realized it has been a while since I wrote and updated. What better time than when I'm a year wiser :). So here goes..

When we traveled back from Poland I had a rough time adjusting to the time change with no sleep, airplane food and who knows what else so I got sick, yep, airplane bathrooms are really quite lovely (jk).  Well, after calling out of work an extra day or two and thinking I had some virus or bug we took a test. We meaning I and test meaning Yup, we found out we were pregnant!  Can you believe it? After years of trying and then finding our beautiful son in Poland we find out God has blessed us with a second child.   We ate so lucky to be where we are!

OK, onto the next subject...
My inlaws moved in with us. Not sure if I've blogged about this already, but they are awesome! We built out our garage and they have been wonderful and are so excited for everything and can't wait to meet their grandson from Poland!
So we have started updating our home study for all the changes we have going on. Doing more paperwork, of course.

We are waiting on Poland to send us the paperwork after our first trip for us to start getting everything dine to go back and pick up our son. Only thing is now we are a lite worried about timelines since I am pregnant now and at a certain point won't be able to travel so fingers crossed we get to go before things get complicated.  I know God has a plan but it still is hard to not worry.

seeing our son. 1st trip

We arrived in Katowice, got picked up n driven to see our hotel. Met Magda the next morning and she finds out our son is doing respitory therapy 3 hours away! So we didn't get to see him that day. The next day when then got picked up again and dru end 3 hours to where he is. Finally we get to see him. He's so tiny n perfect n beautiful. We played for hours. Then next day (today) we came back. Yesterday there were nurses who spoke English.. Today nope. Lol. But there is a lady stating here who speaks polish and Spanish of all things so she is a godsend helping us ho from my husband seeking Spanish n translating to polish.

traveling soon and other updates

we got travel dates, we are traveling soon to see our baby.  wootwoot! we get to see him 4 days! which is awesome. we have found videos and pictures of him because a famous singer has shed light on our orphanage in the past year and he was there so we feel very very blessed to have those we can watch. our family and friends are so supportive and excited and its the most wonderful feeling now. cant wait to see whats next in this journey. cant wait to meet my son! it is absolutely amazing you can have such feelings and love and connection to someone you havent met yet but the feeling is awesome and every time i see him in pictures he lights my world!

we bought a couple Polish dictionary and phrasebook to take with us. ive also been reading on the second adoption book we bought a while back. we are also getting so much help and advice from people in the agency group. the best resource ever are those who have lived or are living it to get advice and connect. i am making good friends with some people from our agency, it is really cool.  i want our son to have connections to Poland and those he maybe knew at the orphanage thru his life.

we've been matched to our baby boy!!

We got the phone call we have been waiting for !! We are parents ! More to come when we know... Feeling blessed.

Fundraiser brainstorming

Better late than never to start fundraising. I have a few really awesome friends and family who are going to help me figure out things to do for fundraising.  I have mixed feelings because I do not want people to think we are asking or begging for money because we knew the monetary implication when starting the adoption but at the same time many people so fundraise, as it can help in small ways for those little expenses. So, I have some great people who want to help and are looking into different parties to help and then they want to do a yard/bake sale which i said I totally need help with as I am not sure how to go about the bake sale part of things. Thank goodness for those close people in my life/our life who you know are true true friends. Thank you to all those who are excited for me and wanting to help!!!!!!!!

Waiting is sooooo hard!

Every day the wait seems harder and harder. It seems everyone around me is pregnant and or having babies. Like, Everyone! It's like always on ur brain and everywhere u look there are babies n more babies and none are urs and u ask why, why the wait, why. It's hard. You want to give up but u know you won't, because one day will be THE day. But I swear it's harder than every imagined. We pray and pray. But it's not here yet, our day has yet to come and it's hard. Have I said that yet? Lol. Today's one of those days that really hard for one reason or another. In the past few months I have like umpteen friends who have become pregnant and another handful who just had or about to have babies, some their first, some their third. And it gets you down. And then there's the news where they just found a baby in a dumpster, and another dropped off here or there, and u think why can't I be the one to love that baby, some stupid person doesn't know what they have, and I could give that baby everything, and we have been at this for over a year, it's not fair! Grrrrrr. Why do things happen this way? Why, when we have so much to give is it soon hard to begin a family? And everyone who doesn't even want them are having them left and right and throwing them away, makes me so angry. This is redundant of previous vent posts, just guess one of those bad days and needed to get it out.

Been reading on adoption

Started reading adoption books we have bought (reading The Connected Child right now), and books we bought about Poland and their history, culture, and customs. Learning cool things about Poland.  Following others lives on our agency group page on Facebook and that is one of the greatest assets we have to connect with others and go through this journey with others.  It has helped a lot.  

Continuing to do the rosetta stone CD for learning Polish every now and then.  I know a few words, so I hope to know enough to get by when we finally get to that first trip. Emotional over our last few months, as we kept hoping we would get a call, for sure we thought we would get a call, but still waiting.

I know I should just keep off Facebook. Because, I keep seeing others I know posting about expecting a baby, I have had 3 in the past few months post notices of expecting and 3 others who just had a baby and are posting new pics.  Makes me upset and emotional.  Then I see others who started a domestic adoption just recently who have already been matched and will have a newborn in a few months. I just get so frustrated.  Then I watch a tv show favorite of mine and it is about adoption and people 're-homing' and giving away those children, and it sickens me. I could never give a child away that was mine. Never.

I don't know the bigger picture and I just hate that.  I don't understand yet, and can't see the whys of life right now with those types of things, and it really makes me mad or stressed or... I dunno...  just emotional all around I guess. I hate waiting. And I know this isn't the worse wait yet. But, I want to move on the the next step, let me know who will be my baby and let me start planning already, let me get things ready, let me meet my sweet baby and hold them for the first time, please lord, just let me know.