Started reading adoption books we have bought (reading The Connected Child right now), and books we bought about Poland and their history, culture, and customs. Learning cool things about Poland. Following others lives on our agency group page on Facebook and that is one of the greatest assets we have to connect with others and go through this journey with others. It has helped a lot.
Continuing to do the rosetta stone CD for learning Polish every now and then. I know a few words, so I hope to know enough to get by when we finally get to that first trip. Emotional over our last few months, as we kept hoping we would get a call, for sure we thought we would get a call, but still waiting.
I know I should just keep off Facebook. Because, I keep seeing others I know posting about expecting a baby, I have had 3 in the past few months post notices of expecting and 3 others who just had a baby and are posting new pics. Makes me upset and emotional. Then I see others who started a domestic adoption just recently who have already been matched and will have a newborn in a few months. I just get so frustrated. Then I watch a tv show favorite of mine and it is about adoption and people 're-homing' and giving away those children, and it sickens me. I could never give a child away that was mine. Never.
I don't know the bigger picture and I just hate that. I don't understand yet, and can't see the whys of life right now with those types of things, and it really makes me mad or stressed or... I dunno... just emotional all around I guess. I hate waiting. And I know this isn't the worse wait yet. But, I want to move on the the next step, let me know who will be my baby and let me start planning already, let me get things ready, let me meet my sweet baby and hold them for the first time, please lord, just let me know.
