update

well, october 26th we had a referral! only a month after our paperwork was sent. but, unfortunetely (i never can spell that word) we had to say no based on our life and this wonderful childs life. it was one of the hardest things we had to do, but we did it, and even over a month later we still think about it and how hard it was and how it can really affext you but we made a decision based on what is best for everyone and hope for the next referral to be "the one". it was so quick as well, we were shocked and excited and hurt all within days of that call.
as you go through the adoption process you have so many highs and lows. you will read this and other blogs and think, nahhhh, but just you wait. :)  you will know what i mean when you get there. everyone has those, its the nature of the beast.

we have friend after friend getting married and pregnant and then seeing them with the miracle of life and you feel mixed feelings, you are happy for them but sad for yourself because you want that so bad.  you see shows or commercials or something on facebook and you break down because you want a family so bad. its a mix of emotions and you feel bad that you arent excited and over the moon for your friends, you feel guilty, at least i do, about having these feelings, but i guess thats just being a human, those are thoughts maybe that others go through as well, especially when youve tried for so long as done so many things, and so you hide your sadness and pain so the world cant see your hurting and you push through. and you know every day is a day closer, but saying that doesnt help the wanting and hoping and sadness of it not being now.

others are getting referrals and you get good and bad feelings when that happens. others are waiting and have been waiting longer than us without a referral and you hope they find the right child as well.   but we know the right child for our family will be placed at the right time.  sometimes you dont know when that will be and you cant see the bigger picture of life, so we trust and pray that everything is going to be fine. we know we have each other and that together we can move mountains.but i will continue to check my phone and hope today is the day and get bummed when it isnt and some days ill go without too much thoughts about it and some days its all i can think about.

Things have been sent off to Poland

So, our dossier has been sent to Poland.  Now the major wait commences......

:)

DOSSIER DONE!

Ok, so we got our dossier documents together and sent them to our agency this week on Tuesday.  They got the documents, looked over everything and gave us an A+ on the paperwork. wootwoot!
We just need a few pictures of my husband and I in and around the house to send it as well and its going to POLAND!!!!

9 months of crazy paperwork and now its like, what, I'm done with the paperwork for now? We really did it?? It is really done and about to be sent off to be match with our child?????      well, what do I do now???? LOL          I have been go go go for so long. I get a break I guess. I can dig it.



                                     Me with all the paperwork for dossier-->

FINALLY Preparing to send our DOSSIER!

Finally, we have all our documents, apostiled and ready to go to the agency and then POLAND! Have to put it all together and then send it off.

For those who might not have read from the beginning of my blogging here the timeline....

End of 2012 --started heavily researching and looking at agencies and adoption
January 2013- Turned in Application and Agreements
February 2013- Started Homestudy and gathering the plentiful paperwork needed for the adoption process
May 2013- Homestudy Complete, continuing to gather documents and paperwork needed
August 2013- Received government approval (via I797)
September 2013-ALL paperwork completed--ALL filled out, notarized, apostiled, and whatever else you can possibly think of that comes with the process of gathering all documents for dossier.
NEXT- Will be the dossier submitting.

Soooo, so far, it has been 8-9 months since we really started the process.

You know what one of the main costs of adoption is that they don't really calculate into adoption??.... paying for gathering your documents and then mailing documents.  
Especially when you have to redo documents and resend them, because you are always mailing the paperwork and a prepaid envelope to send back to you.  Hundreds of dollars easily spent on mailing including getting all documents and paying for those, rough guess, Id say $1,000 in ordering documents and mailing. 

Frustrated.

Sent off everything to get apostiled,and 5 documents came back because they did not have a notary statement along with the stamp/seal. Turned those back in after adding a statement to notaries and some still came back for still not being right!! getting frustrated!

Trying to look/think positive still as we are almost done with all paperwork until sending our dossier.  But it does go up and down and get frustrating and crazy a lot during this process.  Can't wait to be done with paperwork for at least a few months.  :)

I-797 finally came Monday!

So, if you have read my other blog entries, you know we have been waiting what seems like an eternity for the I-800A approval, which is where the USCIS sends you an approval form called the I-797.  Well, it has been about 4 1/2 weeks since our appointment. (An eternity when your waiting and hearing others got it in 3 weeks.)  Anywho.....
We got that and got everything for NC together to send to get apostilled.  So, whats next......
MORE WAITING!  woowoo.  LOL

We are only 1 step away though from turning it all in and sending it off, so I am happy and hopeful. 

So, another 4 weeks or so I am thinking for NC to apostile everything and return it to us.... THEN.....

"put it all together and turn yourself around and that's what it's all about."  (hokey pokey tune)

It will be turned in to go to Poland and then we wait.......... again......... :-)

waiting and waiting

well, we got our apptfor the I800A at the beginning of july and are waiting and waiting for the approval saying we can proceed to get everything apostiled by NC. so we can send our dossier off... but every week seems like further n further away....

Homestudy Finalized. Now to step 2....

Our homestudy was finalized end of May/beginning of June.  WOOWOO! let me first acknowledge that task....... It took just over 4 months -which during the time you are going through it seems like an eternity- but even if you think, oh, I got this, it won't take us that long, oh yes sir, it will, because we were on top of it all, they needed something, BAM, we were on it, but no matter what you do I tell you you will wait on other places and papers and theres no going around the wait and the months it takes.  But we are Done. Done. Done, Yeah Buddy!
OK, now that I have taken a second to give the finalization its 'props' on to step 2.....

We sent our information and I-800A form to the government.  For those who know what this is just skip ahead, for those who don't-- the I 800A form basically is something you fill out and send to the US for them to see who you are and your info etc and say okay, you are good to go forward to adopt internationally, which is what we are doing.  Once they say ok and we do a few things for them to verify who we are and that we are good peoples :) then we will get a form back from them saying we are able to pursue adopting.

Then when we get that form back, we will send it with our homestudy and other documents to NC (the state of residence for those that live elsewhere).   They will apostile everything and send it back.

BAM POW BAM

Then, guess what????......

It will shortly after that be going to POLAND.  Woohooooooo!!  OMG, the light, the light at the end of the tunnel, I finally seeeeeeeee it!!! There it is, I think.... I see.... the light.......maybe??...... I hope...... I know its there.......
:-D   oh yea, getting closer, baby steps, baby steps, but definitely OVER the HUMP of questions and paperwork and I feel and our adoption is getting closer and closer. 


If this post seems a bit 'off' or loopy its because I am. -- off and loopy--  :)  I am tired but kept wanting to write about our steps to adoption.  AND, I am almost done with my work for the summer, then summer vacation for teachers.  So, that has me tired and loopy as well.  So, I am doing so under tired loopyness- which isn't even a word, oh well.  Off to do a few minutes of Yoga before I go get into bed.

Homestudy Finalized!!

Finally! Our homestudy has been finalized, signed and delivered to us for our next step.... the dossier and US government forms. From beginning of homestudy to finalization was just over 4 months.

Step 1 down, 2 more to go.

what would u do?

What would I do during our adoption? Anything and everything.   We are waiting on one little paper from the doctor. They said they would put it in mail by Friday. We wait and wait, nothing in mail. I start calling the doctors office and for days my messages go unanswered. I finally get ahold of the practice managers number and leave her a message too. On my 6th call this week after 5 messages over 2 days I finally get to talk to a human. The letter is finally done today but waiting on a notary which they don't have. I told them I was going to drive down and pick it up but they don't have the notary so they will try to get it complete tomorrow.  Told them I will physically drive
down 1 1/2 hours to pick it up Friday after I get off work to turn around and drive 1 1/2 hours back home. That is where I am with this one last paper we need for our home study to be finalized. I am a determined soon -to- be- mama and you are getting in my way of getting my children! I will get what I need. My determined nature is actually a good thing during this process, well maybe not for those who may have gotten in trouble for not getting their job done or calling me back after 2  days and 5 messages.  But a good trait for someone going through the process to have.  :)

Ok, Maybe now we are almost done with Home Study.... :)

      Wow, when you start this journey you say 3 to 4 months for a home study? nah, we can do it quicker than that.  Then you get into it and realize WOW, there's lots of waiting and papers and redoing papers and waiting and then more papers, oops then there's more papers, okay now back to waiting. You feel like you jump through hoops then that hoop isn't good enough so you have another hoop to jump through, then just when you think you are done with that hoop you realize there's another one to go through, this time higher off the ground and with fire around it... lol. not really but thought the picture was funny in my head.  :)   And you realize, yep, it takes that long no matter how fast you say you'll do your part, because a good portion of the home study is waiting on others.  And it literally takes 4 months no matter how fast you get things done or sent off or any of that.  Thought we were done, but just found out last week we have to redo and gather more papers, again.....
        So, if you are new to the process and reading this, yes, do things quickly, but realize you will wait no matter what, and you may be asked to redo items or gather more items.  And you will have extra papers or have to redo papers.  And it is frustrating and at time you feel like is this ever gonna end, or am I going to do all this in the end to not get anywhere but you have to realize it is not that you are being picked on or it's just you, its everyone, and the more you do to get those things done the brighter the light gets at the end of the 'hoops'.  As another friend whose going through an international adoption as well told me "its the nature of adoption".   Just as I felt like I am at my wits end we get a rough draft of the home study to look over and check and I saw the light again.   Reading the rough draft makes you breathe again and smile and you think, yep, there's the light, these children I am going to meet and love for the rest of my life, that's my light.
       God gives you what you can handle and you don't know the reason behind things sometimes but you know that you have been brought to this process for a reason and maybe one day you'll find out that reason and maybe not but you will persevere and create an everlasting family.  So all your trials and frustrations and emotions and dreams through your life and in this process are to show you are capable of handling these situations. You will learn a lot about your self and your spouse through this and it helps you to plan and think ahead to what type of parents you will be, how you want to raise a child, and who you want to be in life with them.  This is a journey.  A journey for everyone involved- no doubt about it.

Almost done with HomeStudy

OK, had a few more papers to find and send in for the homestudy after the social worker types all our questions and checked the paperwork and everything.  So,sent those in a few days ago to agency.  Now waiting for the others in agency to see homestudy and look over it and then us check it, and I think we will then be able to send it with other stuff off to NC for apostile.  I think.  :) .........

Thoughts

We are in the beginning stages of our adoption.  There is (as best I can explain right now) the homestudy, then the dossier, approval from USA, getting a referral for a child/children, traveling to meet child, accepting of referral, travel back again, bonding with child, court hearings, and finally coming home. But it doesnt stop there, because then you have to make sure the child and you are doing well and report back to agency and country adopting from for a while to make sure everything is A OKAY.  I may have gotten some backwards, or missed some.  We are at the end part of the homestudy and starting on the dossier paperwork, so I do not know what I have not done, but I do know the general timeline.

Reading others blogs and seeing others thoughts, I thought, hey, I am going to write my own down too.
So,

My thoughts....

Adoption.
Did you ever think you would adopt?  No, we were led here through different twists and turns through life but now that we are here we know it is for a reason and that this is where we are supposed to be.

Is it a process?  More than some can imagine.
 
Is it emotional?  Yes.

Is it crazy?         Yes.

Did you have any idea when you started what it entailed?    Nope. and we are just beginning

Do you have a clue what is to come.  Nope.

Are you excited?  Yes, so hopeful and exited, imagining the who/what/when/where of everything all the time.

Are you scared or nervous?  Yes.  Its the unknown and its always scary and nerve racking.

Do you have a million questions?  Yes, and they change and then I think about something else with the adoption and then my questions change again.  

What have you learned so far?  You have to just go with the flow, open your mind and every aspect of your life to complete strangers to critique you and be okay with it and that can be very hard.  

What is the craziest part so far?  That you have to double check the checked documents so check em again and then check the checker.  :) sorta.


I get people that ask a lot of questions when they hear I am adopting because they have thought about it or know someone thinking about it and I answer their questions and try to guide them as best as possible and believe that is part of why we were chosen to adopt; to help others to know about and lead them to adopt as well.  It's definitely something for those with patience and who can stand by their partner and get through things together.  It brings you closer together and makes you really think about what you will do in the future and how you will do it. 
You go in a little naive but are guided along the way with great support from the agency and social worker you are working with.  We have been fortunate to have an awesome agency and social worker and it makes a world of difference I think.  Our families have also both been very supportive and wishful and wonderful listening to us babble on and on about it as this will be the first grandchildren either side has. So not only is it monumental to us, it is monumental to the family.  Our child or children are going to be showered with so much love and acceptance and family its gonna be great!

Home visit complete

Ok, had home visit of homestudy.  Answered the questions as best we could and try to convey what we feel in words.  Will be a few weeks for them to get their typing of paperwork and things done.  Sent off some things to apostile (certify) and still waiting on some things.  So we now go into the limbo stage of waiting on different places and people and once that gets together send all that off for apostile and see what else we can do.  So for now, we are going to start on reading a few adoption books we got and have another book or two in mind for parenting we wanna read, going to practice learning polish, and just hang in until we can do some more.

at home homestudy meeting soon

we met at the office for our first visit with our adoption agency and in 5 days they are coming to the house to do our second and final visit. looking forward to it, wondering what else she may ask us, wondering if what we feel and believe is on target with what others have said or if theres a 'right answer' and hoping us just being ourselves is good enough. it should be, we are wonderful stable loving people, so i ponder for no reason i guess but u know how your mind wanders when the future is at stake... cant wait, very excited to answer all the questions, show our house off and get things rolling as soon as we can. it is definitely a process full of not knowing so you really have to have faith and know everything is on course and will work out in the end and take a chunk at a time and even though I dream about who are kids are out there, what our kids will look like, what will happen with us and them, if theyll love us and bond quickly, when itll be, and a bijillion other things i just can not wait til the day we get our referral.

First Homestudy Meeting

Got all the paperwork for first part of home study done!!!  First appointment tomorrow to meet with agency, hand over paperwork then hopefully start the dossier to Poland! I read on our agency facebook page about peoples journeys and get so excited and emotional when I hear they are back from first trip or back home for good with their child and it makes me want that sooo bad, but I know we will get there and be matched with the perfect child or children for us and one day down the line we will be the ones posting about coming back from meeting our child or bringing them home and sharing our videos and pictures of our journey and family and everything will be awesome! Can't wait!! 

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step......

Homestudy paperwork started.

So, we turned in the agreements and received the homestudy beginning packet last week of all the paperwork we have to start getting together. It is a lot-- 3 pages of lists of things to get together before you can make an appointment with the social worker and start the visits. So, Ive started making calls and filling out paperwork to request the papers and documents needed.  Taking baby steps with it and doing a few things at a time.  It is stressful but it is OK because everything I do is a step closer to finishing.  I see why it takes so long to get thru the homestudy, you have to wait on other people to get you  the things you need. Hoping by end of January to have all the places contacted and documents requested then just wait for it all.

The Start

January 2013
We will be turning in our agreement this week.