what would u do?

What would I do during our adoption? Anything and everything.   We are waiting on one little paper from the doctor. They said they would put it in mail by Friday. We wait and wait, nothing in mail. I start calling the doctors office and for days my messages go unanswered. I finally get ahold of the practice managers number and leave her a message too. On my 6th call this week after 5 messages over 2 days I finally get to talk to a human. The letter is finally done today but waiting on a notary which they don't have. I told them I was going to drive down and pick it up but they don't have the notary so they will try to get it complete tomorrow.  Told them I will physically drive
down 1 1/2 hours to pick it up Friday after I get off work to turn around and drive 1 1/2 hours back home. That is where I am with this one last paper we need for our home study to be finalized. I am a determined soon -to- be- mama and you are getting in my way of getting my children! I will get what I need. My determined nature is actually a good thing during this process, well maybe not for those who may have gotten in trouble for not getting their job done or calling me back after 2  days and 5 messages.  But a good trait for someone going through the process to have.  :)

Ok, Maybe now we are almost done with Home Study.... :)

      Wow, when you start this journey you say 3 to 4 months for a home study? nah, we can do it quicker than that.  Then you get into it and realize WOW, there's lots of waiting and papers and redoing papers and waiting and then more papers, oops then there's more papers, okay now back to waiting. You feel like you jump through hoops then that hoop isn't good enough so you have another hoop to jump through, then just when you think you are done with that hoop you realize there's another one to go through, this time higher off the ground and with fire around it... lol. not really but thought the picture was funny in my head.  :)   And you realize, yep, it takes that long no matter how fast you say you'll do your part, because a good portion of the home study is waiting on others.  And it literally takes 4 months no matter how fast you get things done or sent off or any of that.  Thought we were done, but just found out last week we have to redo and gather more papers, again.....
        So, if you are new to the process and reading this, yes, do things quickly, but realize you will wait no matter what, and you may be asked to redo items or gather more items.  And you will have extra papers or have to redo papers.  And it is frustrating and at time you feel like is this ever gonna end, or am I going to do all this in the end to not get anywhere but you have to realize it is not that you are being picked on or it's just you, its everyone, and the more you do to get those things done the brighter the light gets at the end of the 'hoops'.  As another friend whose going through an international adoption as well told me "its the nature of adoption".   Just as I felt like I am at my wits end we get a rough draft of the home study to look over and check and I saw the light again.   Reading the rough draft makes you breathe again and smile and you think, yep, there's the light, these children I am going to meet and love for the rest of my life, that's my light.
       God gives you what you can handle and you don't know the reason behind things sometimes but you know that you have been brought to this process for a reason and maybe one day you'll find out that reason and maybe not but you will persevere and create an everlasting family.  So all your trials and frustrations and emotions and dreams through your life and in this process are to show you are capable of handling these situations. You will learn a lot about your self and your spouse through this and it helps you to plan and think ahead to what type of parents you will be, how you want to raise a child, and who you want to be in life with them.  This is a journey.  A journey for everyone involved- no doubt about it.

Almost done with HomeStudy

OK, had a few more papers to find and send in for the homestudy after the social worker types all our questions and checked the paperwork and everything.  So,sent those in a few days ago to agency.  Now waiting for the others in agency to see homestudy and look over it and then us check it, and I think we will then be able to send it with other stuff off to NC for apostile.  I think.  :) .........

Thoughts

We are in the beginning stages of our adoption.  There is (as best I can explain right now) the homestudy, then the dossier, approval from USA, getting a referral for a child/children, traveling to meet child, accepting of referral, travel back again, bonding with child, court hearings, and finally coming home. But it doesnt stop there, because then you have to make sure the child and you are doing well and report back to agency and country adopting from for a while to make sure everything is A OKAY.  I may have gotten some backwards, or missed some.  We are at the end part of the homestudy and starting on the dossier paperwork, so I do not know what I have not done, but I do know the general timeline.

Reading others blogs and seeing others thoughts, I thought, hey, I am going to write my own down too.
So,

My thoughts....

Adoption.
Did you ever think you would adopt?  No, we were led here through different twists and turns through life but now that we are here we know it is for a reason and that this is where we are supposed to be.

Is it a process?  More than some can imagine.
 
Is it emotional?  Yes.

Is it crazy?         Yes.

Did you have any idea when you started what it entailed?    Nope. and we are just beginning

Do you have a clue what is to come.  Nope.

Are you excited?  Yes, so hopeful and exited, imagining the who/what/when/where of everything all the time.

Are you scared or nervous?  Yes.  Its the unknown and its always scary and nerve racking.

Do you have a million questions?  Yes, and they change and then I think about something else with the adoption and then my questions change again.  

What have you learned so far?  You have to just go with the flow, open your mind and every aspect of your life to complete strangers to critique you and be okay with it and that can be very hard.  

What is the craziest part so far?  That you have to double check the checked documents so check em again and then check the checker.  :) sorta.


I get people that ask a lot of questions when they hear I am adopting because they have thought about it or know someone thinking about it and I answer their questions and try to guide them as best as possible and believe that is part of why we were chosen to adopt; to help others to know about and lead them to adopt as well.  It's definitely something for those with patience and who can stand by their partner and get through things together.  It brings you closer together and makes you really think about what you will do in the future and how you will do it. 
You go in a little naive but are guided along the way with great support from the agency and social worker you are working with.  We have been fortunate to have an awesome agency and social worker and it makes a world of difference I think.  Our families have also both been very supportive and wishful and wonderful listening to us babble on and on about it as this will be the first grandchildren either side has. So not only is it monumental to us, it is monumental to the family.  Our child or children are going to be showered with so much love and acceptance and family its gonna be great!

Home visit complete

Ok, had home visit of homestudy.  Answered the questions as best we could and try to convey what we feel in words.  Will be a few weeks for them to get their typing of paperwork and things done.  Sent off some things to apostile (certify) and still waiting on some things.  So we now go into the limbo stage of waiting on different places and people and once that gets together send all that off for apostile and see what else we can do.  So for now, we are going to start on reading a few adoption books we got and have another book or two in mind for parenting we wanna read, going to practice learning polish, and just hang in until we can do some more.

at home homestudy meeting soon

we met at the office for our first visit with our adoption agency and in 5 days they are coming to the house to do our second and final visit. looking forward to it, wondering what else she may ask us, wondering if what we feel and believe is on target with what others have said or if theres a 'right answer' and hoping us just being ourselves is good enough. it should be, we are wonderful stable loving people, so i ponder for no reason i guess but u know how your mind wanders when the future is at stake... cant wait, very excited to answer all the questions, show our house off and get things rolling as soon as we can. it is definitely a process full of not knowing so you really have to have faith and know everything is on course and will work out in the end and take a chunk at a time and even though I dream about who are kids are out there, what our kids will look like, what will happen with us and them, if theyll love us and bond quickly, when itll be, and a bijillion other things i just can not wait til the day we get our referral.

First Homestudy Meeting

Got all the paperwork for first part of home study done!!!  First appointment tomorrow to meet with agency, hand over paperwork then hopefully start the dossier to Poland! I read on our agency facebook page about peoples journeys and get so excited and emotional when I hear they are back from first trip or back home for good with their child and it makes me want that sooo bad, but I know we will get there and be matched with the perfect child or children for us and one day down the line we will be the ones posting about coming back from meeting our child or bringing them home and sharing our videos and pictures of our journey and family and everything will be awesome! Can't wait!! 

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step......